Monday, September 13, 2010

3

Travis Mckee,
I met you in 7th grade, and awful year for me, I had not yet discovered make-up and boys were still scary for me.
You were a rebel. You had a pierced eye-brow, and you always wore these terrible black pants with chains, and an ICP t-shirt.
However, you were also one of the sweetest boys I had ever met. I was far from being the prettiest girl in the class we had together, but you talked to me, just the same. We hung out from time-to-time in the same groups, but it ended at that.

I didn't see you around during any of 8th grade, and I kinda forgot about you, actually, I only saw you a couple times through 9th, 10, and 11th grade. You changed so much, you started playing football, you became so incredibly popular, and I figured you didn't remember anymore anyways.

Senior year, I didn't miss a single football game, and we would all hang out in the school parking lot afterwards and wait for the team to come out of the locker room. I was with some of my friends, and you were walking towards us, Lindsay saw you, and she poked me and whispered, "Look who's coming over here." You came over and gave me a hug, and thanked me for going to the game, and said it was nice to see me. We smiled at each other, and it was weird, but a good weird, seeing you so grown up.
So, as football season continued, we talked after every game, I remember one night in particular, as I was leacing you said, "Call me later ok Babe?" I just smiled and said ok, but when Melissa and I got to my car, we both started screaming, I was so excited.

I did call you that night. We talked on the phone for an hour or so, and it was fantastic, we had such great chemistry.

The following week, after friday night's football game, I was waiting in the parking lot, like usual, but this time you ran up to me, and picked me up, and kissed me.
I was kissing Travis Mckee, captain of the football team, and I could feel jealous eyes staring at me. You playing football or being Captain really didn't impress me, I've never been one who has cared about being popular, but I knew girls who did care, and some people were angry with me, but I didn't care, you made me feel so important.

From that night on, I was your girl, I had your coat in my closet, and you had a picture of us in your car. I was so so happy, and so were you, we just fit together.

I think about the 4th month in, you started smoking weed, a lot.
You always had done it a little bit, but it started to get to a point, where you'd ditch me if it meant you could go get high somewhere. I hated you stoned. You lost your passion, you became boring, but I cared about you so much, I stayed. We talked about it, and you promised you would cut back, you didn't want to lose me over something so stupid.

You couldn't though, you couldn't stop, and I couldn't take it.
I ended things between us, and it hurt, because I didn't want to, and I really thought after you saw how upset I was, you would stop, but no, you said you were who you were and you were gonna do what you wanted to do.

Just like that, everything ended.

I missed you for the longest time, and I know you missed me, you would text me or call me every noe and again to say hi, or something, but we couldn't get past that issue.

I just couldn't watch you destroy everything, it was breaking my heart.

I don't really know what you are up to now, I think I heard you were doing construction and roofing, that you had dropped out of college, I hope that isn't true, I know you had a football scholarship.

I want to see you do well, and whatever you are up to now, I hope you're happy. You are such a good person, and I am sorry things ended with us the way they did. I hope you're safe, and ok, I mean it.

As Always,
Amanda

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