Sunday, September 12, 2010

Dear Tyler,

Fuck You.
I mean that, to this day.
You played me, you were dating Renee, I as your "friend" understood that, and although neither of us admitted it, we both knew we liked each other.

Before you and Renee started dating, I spent almost all of my summer nights with you, you'd pick me up, and we would drive around in your car and talk.
You called me "cutie" or "babe", you talked about Renne every-once-and-awhile, but I wasn't worried, since you had asked her out before and she had turned you down, besides things were going well between us and I was confident that we were on the path towards a relationship.

Then, one day, you sent me a text to tell me you were dating Renee, like any girl, I was devestated, and I cried, but things didn't change between us, we still got together, you still came and picked me up, and you would tell me how jealous she was of me, and I thought for sure, you would leave her. You two were always fighting, and I just knew you would see that I was right for you.


............You never did.

I quit texting you, or replying to you when you got ahold of me, you only talked to me when you were angry with her. I was plan b, when I wanted to be plan a, and it hurt, but more then that, it was annoying.

I let you go.

I hadn't talked to you in over a year when you sent me a text to see if I was with Kevin, I said I was, I asked why you were texting me after all this time, I assumed you were being nosey and I confronted you on it, you said "Just to catch up." I said "ok, sorry I guess, didn't mean to be rude." You replied, "You had a reason to wonder right?"

I still am not sure what that was supposed to mean.


Last time we talked, I let out a year and a half of anger, I know I made you mad, but honestly? I feel so much better. Even though now I know for certain we are on bad terms, thats fine. I don't feel awkward, I think you do though, and I wasn't trying to make you feel like that. I see you at work all the time, and you look scared of me, and I'm sorry Tyler, but that is what happens when you treat a girl like that.

Out of everybody I have dated or come close to dating, or even been out with, you are the only one I have issues with. I hope you treat Renee better than you treated me, at the time, I thought she was an awful, mean girl for treating my friend the way that she did, now, I think gee, maybe she had a reason to be upset, you and I never did anything physically, but emotionally, you were not 100% in that relationship, and I kinda feel bad for her.

I hope one day, you can grow up, I'm not mad anymore, well, yes and no. When I think about it like I am right now, I get angry, but it's not like I think about you a lot, in fact, I never do, not even when I see you, so really, I won, because I know when you see me, you know what you did, you know I have nothing to be sorry for and you do.

The only apology I owe is to Renee, because looking back, I can see why she would of hated me, because if I was her, I would of hated me.

-Amanda

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