Returning?

Hello All, It has been FOREVER since I have been on here. Truthfully I was just thinking about starting a new blog, I kinda forgot about this one. I think I will just pick up where I left off though. I started this blog when I was dating Kevin. Since then, we have broken up. No regrets though. I was with him for about 3 years. He was wrong, and did things, and said things, I was wrong and did things, and said things. He has a new girlfriend now...actually he is with my little brothers ex girlfriend. We all broke up close to the same time and they found each other I guess...I don't know.



 SO. I have just turned 22. Been single since late April, and you know what Bloggers? I am ok... I wasn't for awhile, but I am now. I'm ok again. I'm not angry anymore, I don't cry over him anymore...I'm ok. I have so many stories for all of you though. this may turn in to a single girl's guide for awhile, or at least a story of my life being single. We will see! But yes, after the lonnngggg time away, I am back. Tell your friends.

 So I just was looking at my blog, and sometime back I wrote a letter to a boy named Travis Mckee. June 26th, my friend Travis Mckee committed suicide... I hadn't talked to him in some-time, but maybe a week before it happened, we started talking again, we were both newly single, and just supporting each other. Also, I know a tattoo artist and was trying to help Travis get some cheap ink. I was going to text him one night about it, but I decided not to...because on Facebook I saw he had posted something sad, not a suicide threat at all, just some sad song/music video. He was such a strong boy, well man, I decided to give him space till the next day, I never got that chance. I am a nanny now, (worked Starbucks for awhile, but never again) anyways, I was at work, when the calls started coming. At first I thought it was a different Travis, but then people started to call me, with the "are you okay?" I stopped answering the phone, and went numb till I got to leave work. Travis shot himself. My support system was gone,my friend was gone. A boy I had the BIGGEST crush on my senior year...gone. No more bear hugs. I wish I hadn't decided to not text him that night. I can't help,but feel guilty. I can only hope now he sees how loved he was. My whole world went dark. Travis had his faults, but we all do. Overall, he was one of the sweetest and most caring people I have ever met. His candlelight vigil and his funeral were some of the hardest things to go through. 52 was Travis's football number back in his days at Pomona Senior High.

I know I can't be the only one who has lost someone this way. I really think it is something the world needs to talk about more. I feel him around me, I know he is watching over me, but yet, I miss him, every single day. Things were really dark for me for awhile, thankfully, in August, I got to travel out of the country for the very first time with my best friend Lindsay. I went to Italy and Greece. The most wonderful experience of my life. So many pictures!!!! I will include a few, but it was just what I needed. I went with a college tour group, and I made some life-long friends. Plus, I was totally crushin' on our tour guide Giordanno. So cute. I had never seen the ocean, been to a beach, none of that. I had the best food, I drank, I danced, I laughed, and I came back feeling so relieved, so at peace. One night, sitting on our balcony at a hotel in Delphi Greece, I was talking to Travis, and I saw a shooting star. That so far has been the single most beautiful moment of my life.
 

so those are just some pictures for now, maybe in time as I tell certain stories of that trip I will add more pictures, but I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to go.

So forgive my ramblings, I am excited to be back. Hope to hear from you all soon.

XoXo

Amanda