:) content.

realized that I am living the life I've wanted since I can remember.

And what in inexplicable feeling that is!

A little scary- I'm not used to living so well.

(but...)

I have the most amazing friends ever. And I mean that with my entire heart! Each and every one of them has something I admire. Each and every one of them has qualities that I have never been able to find in other people. And it's not just about the fun I share with these people. It's about the way we've all grown together. Whether I've been friends with them since forever , or up until fairly recently . I've grown with them so much it's incredible to even think about- let alone realize. And I'll be honest; I've lost a lot of so called friends- but it's these people that have stuck around and will continue sticking with me 'til the end. In a totally straight way- I think they were made for me. God made us so we could befriend one another. And I'm so glad God chose me to enjoy these wonderful human beings.

And my boyfriend (!) It doesn't even sound right to just call him my boyfriend. He's become much, much more; so much it still makes my heart ache when I wake up and wish with my entire heart he'd just be lying next to me. So much that I still get butterflies when he calls me "baby". So much that sometimes all I can do is stare at him thinking about how hot damn cute he is- and how any other girl could only be so lucky. I love him so much that somehow my mouth seems to lose the words my heart is electrically sending up to it; I only wish I could explain to him the meaning he holds in me. Kevin made my balance complete. He made me complete. And I only have God to thank for that.

Sometimes I wonder if I am becoming to complacent; too content.

But then I realize all over agian that instead of worrying about not worrying I just need to relax and enjoy, with my entire being, the blessings that have been given to me.

This is the life I've been craving.

And it's even better than I thought.