Tuesday, October 29, 2013


Looking through old blogs tonight, back when Kevin and I were a thing, back when I wrote deep emo poems.

It's funny really, and cliché, but nothing feels super different, but looking back at my own words, my life is nothing like it was just a few years ago.

I'm not complaining, the loss of my relationship, was the right thing, and though it stung like salt on a deep cut at the time, it's been such a good experience for me, and if I'm being honest with myself now, I was done with that relationship before it ended. I didn't want it to end because I didn't want to be single.

My friends have changed, some are the same, some I haven't seen in years.

If I could go back, to one year, I'd be 17 again.
Going to a party, having my first beer.

Laying in the grass of my Mom's backyard holding hands with a boy, looking up at the night, watching stars fall.

Driving around with my best friend, singing at the top of our lungs in the car.

17 was my best year.
When I felt most alive, most free.

Life is good now, no great, I just have more responsibilities now, which is a part of the growing up thing. It's true though, we really don't appreciate those years like we should.

I think sometimes, you just cry because, you now realize how great those times were.

I have almost all of my 20's left though.
Moving out will happen soon, I'll get a better job, maybe find a decent man.

Life is beautiful, and it's ok to miss the past, but I know I have such a great future to look forward to.

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